Child Prodigies

What if political and economic child prodigies ran the world? I think this would be a typical conversation among eight-year-old prodigies:

Prodigy 1: “Okay, which language would you like to speak for this meeting. We all know at least a dozen languages, but not all of us are fluent in every language … yet.” Laughter rings around the room.

Prodigy 2: “Are you running this meeting?”

Prodigy: “This week, yeah. Next week it’ll Number 5. So, language?”

Prodigy 6: “English. We were all indoctrinated in that language before each of us was one year old and could walk fast enough to get out of earshot of the adult idiots.”

Prodigy 1: “Fair enough. Any objections? No? Good. Okay, today’s agenda is to scrap current global economics and all forms of politics that have ever existed throughout history. They all failed so clearly we have to come up with different models.”

Prodigy 4: “I disagree with the latter. Why do we need ‘models’? Models are for morons who can’t think.” Applause from all corners.

Prodigy 1: “Excellent point. Suggestions for developing new ways of thinking about politics and economics?”

Prodigy 3: “If we were the only individuals in the world we wouldn’t even need to discuss this. We’d be able to read one another’s body language and provide what was needed or wanted. The best solution would be to kill everyone who isn’t a prodigy.” Thunderous applause and loud cheers.

Prodigy 1: “How would we accomplish this goal?”

Prodigy 5: “We wouldn’t have to do anything. They’ll destroy themselves in a matter of decades. They’re scared of a virus right now that will be as dangerous as smallpox currently is within a decade. They’ll manipulate one another into self-destruction. We just need to cryogenically freeze ourselves deep underground for about fifty years. Then we won’t have to think about politics or economics ever again.”

Prodigy 8: Of course, we need to freeze all prodigies, not just political and economic. Once we’re unfrozen we can quickly figure out food, water, shelter, and other basic needs so we can hang with the piano and dancing prodigies and have a good time.” Murmurs and growing applause.

Prodigy 13: “What if the adults destroy the world with nuclear weapons? How will we handle living on a radioactive planet?”

Prodigy 6: “The physics prodigy community has come up with several solutions. They’ve coordinated with biological and biomedical prodigies to account for every catastrophic possibility. They’ve kept a tight lid on details to prevent the adults from discovering their ideas to prevent them from botching everything as they usually do.”

Prodigy 1: “Excellent. Okay, where will we acquire cryogenic freezers? No, no, I kid. We’ll let the physics, biological, and engineering prodigies design and build them. Why use outdated and defective adult technologies? The geographic prodigies can find the most secure underground sites.”

Prodigy 17: “The technological prodigies can provide security and build sensors to automatically unfreeze us when conditions are sufficient.”

Prodigy 11: “I think we should contact the mystical prodigies to telepathically communicate with all other prodigies to let each one know when and where to gather.”

Prodigy 5: “With all due respect, the mystical prodigies can telepathically communicate with all the other prodigies to let them know when they’ll be teleported to the site. Either the magical prodigies or the technological prodigies can take care of teleportation.”

Prodigy 1: Good meeting. I’m sure there are a few more details to hash out, but we can reconvene next month. Even if the adults wanted to destroy the world in a month, they’re too stupid to figure out how to do it.” Laughter everywhere as the prodigies disperse.