Harold woke as the Blazer was pulling into camp. He had been exhausted so he slept most of the ride. It was dark, but he could see a bonfire blazing in the middle of a huge circle of tents. As they stopped, Harold asked Asian Jesus how long they’d been driving.
“Does it matter?”
“I guess not. It probably doesn’t matter what time it is, either.”
Asian Jesus smiled. “Come on, let’s go to the camp.”
Harold and the four Jesus’s exited the Blazer. Black Jesus had a flashlight so they could make their way to the campsite without stumbling over rocks or bushes or cacti. They passed the first row of tents and then the second. Past the second row was a ditch and they hopped over it. They then walked past another row of tents and into the vast circle of space that surrounded the bonfire. Around the bonfire were dozens of people dancing and twirling. All of them wore white robes. Harold had a hard time making out any particular individuals. Some were short, some were tall, some were skinny, some were fat, some looked darker and some looked lighter, but it was all just a jumble of bodies intermixing and creating a tossed salad of uninhibited movement.
White Jesus said to Harold, “Come with me.” White Jesus walked Harold to a tall teepee, perhaps twenty feet in height and an indeterminately large base. The teepee was part of the circle of tents that ringed the fire and Harold noticed each tent was a different shape and size. Not all of them were technically tents, but Harold didn’t give it much thought as he was too overwhelmed to process everything that was happening.
White Jesus opened the flap of the teepee and told Harold to step inside. Harold stepped inside and saw a floating white light in the center of the teepee. It was small but it illuminated the entirety of the inner teepee. Harold noticed the fabric of the teepee was multicolored, mostly dulled mauves, violets, mulberries, fuchsias, and magentas. The design pattern was made of paisleys, spirals, and helixes with occasional vermillion wild lines that fit into no definitive categorical style.
There were logs at the base of the outer curves of the teepee. Two figures were sitting on logs on the other side of the light. Harold could see one figure on one side of the light and another on the other side. He couldn’t make out their features or even their shapes. They were like shadows. White Jesus said to Harold, “I’ll leave you so you can talk in private.” Harold grabbed Jesus’s arm. He had fear in his eyes. White Jesus smiled ever so slightly and gently removed Harold’s hand. “You’re amongst friends. There is nothing but love in here. Of course, love isn’t a singular entity.” White Jesus paused. “My point is that you’ll be fine. Enjoy yourself.” White Jesus slapped Harold on the back and left the teepee.
Harold stood inside the entrance of the teepee. He didn’t know what to do. He was confused. As he stood trying to think, the floating light in the middle of the teepee dimmed and went out. For a few moments everything was dark, but slowly three figures on the far log began to alight with a soft glow. Each figure looked exactly the same and as the light grew brighter Harold saw that they were exactly the same. Harold estimated that they must have been eight or nine feet in height, though it was hard to tell because they were sitting. They were human-like but covered in fur, like that of a bear. Even their faces were furry.
The figure in the middle spoke. “Harold, please, have a seat on the log next ours. Sit on the end so that you can see each of us. Don’t worry. It’s an oak log. Very sturdy.” Harold slowly walked to the oak log to his right. He sat on the edge of it. The figure closest to him, essentially on his right, said, “Hello Harold, I am Bigfoot Jesus. Sitting next to me is Sasquatch Jesus and next to him is Yeti Jesus.”
Harold was flabbergasted and, without thinking, blurted, “What?!” Sasquatch Jesus laughed heartily while the other two remained silent. Yeti Jesus said to Bigfoot Jesus, “I think Harold is having a hard time believing we’re real. Harold, we know that your existence today does not believe in Bigfoot or the other names we are called, but this is yesterday and we exist.” Sasquatch Jesus stood and walked over to Harold. He bent down and handed Harold a long pipe. Harold looked up at Sasquatch Jesus, his mouth dangling open, completely stunned by the mammoth size of Sasquatch. Sasquatch Jesus said, “This is a peace pipe. You merely have to inhale.”
Harold seized the pipe, put it to his lips, and inhaled. The flavor was different from that of the pipe he’d shared with Asian Jesus. He exhaled smoke and felt a mild calming effect. He extended his arm to hand the pipe back to Sasquatch Jesus, who had stood up again. “No, you hang on to the pipe Harold. Just put it down next you on the log." Harold did so as Sasquatch Jesus walked back to the log to sit. Harold noticed that their log was much bigger than his. He figured it needed to be, but he found it fascinating that there were different sized logs inside the teepee.
As if reading his thoughts, Bigfoot Jesus said, “We are sitting on a Redwood log. You are sitting on an oak log.” Yeti Jesus and Sasquatch Jesus nodded in agreement. Yeti Jesus asked Harold, “Do you like the peace pipe?”
Harold said, “Yes, I do. It’s beautifully crafted. What am I smoking, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Yeti Jesus said, “Your question does not bother me. You are smoking a peace pipe.”
Harold shook his head, “No, I mean what is in the bowl of the pipe that I’m smoking?”
Bigfoot Jesus said, “There is nothing in the bowl of the peace pipe. You are smoking the peace pipe. Look into the bowl and you will see.”
Harold picked up the peace pipe and looked. There was nothing in the bowl. It was merely carved wood. Harold looked back at the glowing Jesus’s and said, “I felt an effect of calm after inhaling and when I exhaled smoke came out of my mouth. If there is nothing in the bowl then how is that happening?”
Yeti Jesus said, “It is not happening. It happened. It happened because you inhaled the peace pipe and exhaled smoke.”
Harold looked at the bowl again and saw there was no evidence of burnt wood. “But nothing lit on fire.”
Bigfoot Jesus said, “That is true.”
Harold asked, “Well, then, how did I inhale smoke?”
Sasquatch Jesus said, “You did not inhale smoke. You inhaled air. You exhaled smoke.”
Harold sat perplexed for a few minutes. The Jesus’s remained silent. “I’m sorry to keep harping on this, but I don’t understand how I could breathe air from the peace pipe and exhale smoke.”
Sasquatch Jesus said, “You are correct. You do not understand.”
Harold gave up. He sat glumly for a minute before Yeti Jesus said, “Harold, do you want to see a magic trick?”
Harold smiled and said, “Yes, I do. I’d love to see a magic trick.”
Yeti Jesus responded, “Oh.” Yeti Jesus turned his head and stared straight ahead.
Harold waited for a bit and then asked, “Are you going to do a magic trick, Yeti Jesus?”
“No.”
Harold was exasperated. “If you weren’t going to do a magic trick then why did you ask me if I wanted to see a magic trick?”
Yeti Jesus was silent for a moment and then he said, “I wondered if you wanted to see a magic trick. Now I know you do.”
Harold thought to himself, “This is crazy. What am I doing here with three glowing Bigfoots who call themselves Jesus? Yetis don’t exist. Sasquatches are practical jokes in the Northwest United States. I suppose we’ll be going on a snipe hunt soon.”
Bigfoot Jesus interrupted Harold’s thought, “Harold?”
“Yes, Bigfoot Jesus?”
“You seem to be filled with doubt.”
“I am.”
“Is it because you don’t believe we are real?”
“I don’t know what to believe.”
Bigfoot Jesus sighed. “That must be very difficult. I would not like not knowing what to believe.”
Harold responded, “It is difficult. You don’t exist in the world I come from. You’re figments of people’s imaginations.”
The three Jesus’s sat up straight all at once and looked over at Harold with their eyes wide. The three of them said in unison, “You are wrong and you are right. We do exist in your today and we are figments of imagination. How did you know we were figments of imagination?”
Harold said, “I just assumed because there was no scientific evidence to prove you existed.”
Sasquatch Jesus said, “That’s because we exist as figments of imagination. Science cannot detect imagination.”
Harold thought about this. “If you exist as figments of imagination then how am I seeing you now?”
Yeti Jesus said, “It is not now. It is yesterday. Figments of imagination exist now and yesterday.”
Harold said, “That doesn’t make sense.”
Sasquatch Jesus replied, “What makes sense? Is there sense that is to be made and sense that is not made but still exists?”
Harold said, “You guys are making my head swim.”
The three Jesus’s laughed. Bigfoot Jesus said, “We are not making your head swim, but it would be very funny if we did. I would like to see your head swim. You helped create a figment of imagination within me. See how easy it is to make imaginary figments?”
Harold said, “So, if you’re figments of imagination, how is it possible that you have imaginations yourselves?”
The three Jesus’s looked at one another. They turned to Harold and said, “We do not know how. We just do.” Sasquatch Jesus said, “Perhaps you should inhale from the peace pipe again.”
Harold picked up the peace pipe and inhaled. He held his breath for a few seconds and exhaled a large cloud of smoke. He felt his body become loose and light. His thoughts were more relaxed, but instead of being lazier they were more alive. Harold asked, “Can a figment of imagination also be a being?”
Yeti Jesus said. “Oooh, I like this question. It is fun to play question and answer with you Harold. After we answer this question, can we ask you questions and then you answer? I think it is a good idea to take turns when playing games.”
Harold hadn’t considered this a game, but now that he knew the three Jesus’s did he let go of needing to know quite a bit. Why not have fun while learning in the process? Harold realized how constricted his thought was when trying to find answers to questions. He also realized he was aggressive and even a bit hostile as he asked questions to relieve his own anxieties without thinking of the well-being of others.
Harold was about to apologize, but Sasquatch Jesus began answering his question. “No, a figment of imagination is not a being. Figments are, though.”
Harold said, “So figments exist as figments but not as beings.”
The three Jesus’s looked at one another. Bigfoot Jesus asked, “Was that a statement or a question?”
Harold said, “Sorry, I meant what I said as a question,”
Bigfoot Jesus said, “Oh.”
Harold realized they would just sit there if he didn’t prompt them again. “Will you answer my question, Bigfoot Jesus?”
Bigfoot Jesus asked, “It is not a question that can be answered. Is it our turn to ask questions now?”
Harold sighed and said, “Sure.”
Sasquatch Jesus got excited, “Oh, good. I want to ask the first question. Let’s see … what is your favorite ice cream flavor?”
Harold shook his head. He thought, “Seriously? This is ridiculous.” He realized he was being judgmental, though, and answered, “Strawberry.”
Yeti Jesus and Bigfoot Jesus said, “Oh. Good answer.”
Black Jesus entered the teepee. As he did the floating white light appeared in the center of the teepee and the three figures turned dark. Black Jesus said, “Come on, Harold. I want to introduce you to someone.”
Harold said to Black Jesus, “Where did Bigfoot Jesus, Sasquatch Jesus, and Yeti Jesus go?”
Black Jesus laughed. “What are you talking about?”
Harold said, “Well when White Jesus brought me in here there was a floating white light like there is now, but there were two shadowy figures sitting on the redwood log at the back of the teepee. Then when White Jesus left, the floating light disappeared and the three Jesus’s started glowing. It was weird that there were only two shadow figures but three Jesus’s, now that I think about it. It didn’t strike me at the time.”
Black Jesus said, “Whoa, Harold, slow down. This is the concept teepee. Ideas come to life here.”
Harold said, “But they weren’t my ideas.”
“I never said they were.”
Harold thought about this and then asked. “I asked them if they were figments of people’s imaginations and they said they were.”
Black Jesus said, “Are you sure they said they were figments of people’s imaginations?”
Harold realized they had just said they were figments of imagination. He told this to Black Jesus. Black Jesus responded, “That’s more accurate. Concepts, ideas, figments of imagination, they’re all in the same strata of existence.”
Harold said, “They aren’t beings, though?”
“No. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist.”
Harold decided to leave it at that. “So who am I going to meet now?”
Black Jesus said, “You’re not going to meet anyone now. You’re going to meet someone yesterday.”
Harold said, “Oh, yeah. I have trouble remembering that.”
“It’s okay. You’ll get used to it.”
“Will I be in yesterday a long time?”
Black Jesus said, “That’s an incomprehensible question. There’s no answer to it.” Black Jesus smiled and said again, “Come on, let’s go.”
Harold followed Black Jesus out of the teepee.
…
Tune in again … or don’t. Your choice.
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